Yes, you are right to fight for the just version of the church you love. Your statement reminds me that "catholic" means universal in Greek (so they say). For sure the early architects of the church were ambitious and some might say presumptuous! I hear there is no evidence that Jesus himself wanted there to be a church build around his persona.

Also, apparently there is a "no information" period of like 10 years in Jesus' life. Perhaps from ages 20 to 30. Some believe that he went to India during those years and was influenced by eastern philosophy, and India is where his more forgiving and peace loving "turn the other cheek" philosophy was inspired. This was in contrast to the more vengeful, thunderbolts, "sacrifice your children to me" version of god that the Jews of Jesus' day practiced. Apparently, the shipping routes between Palestine and India in Jesus' day were heavily used and it would not have been hard for him to go there.

thanks for the insight. I think you have you are very awake and that's good. You are very generous and charitable vis. a vis the church despite all the evil it has committed (in addition to the good)

Thanks. Can I ask, are you Catholic? How do you feel about the church aiding and abetting pedo's in their upper ranks? Does that reduce your faith in the church? (I'm not equating god with the church, btw).

Take one day per week to totally disconnect from this madness. Go for a walk in the park, see a new movie, go to a new restaurant, hang with your SO.

This is horrible, yes, this is the worst thing in human history, yes. But it was also happening way, way before you started researching it, and while our efforts may bring an end to it in this lifetime, we must bring a life with us through the madness and into the new world where we are woken.

Most people on this planet are good people, if not horribly confused.

Me too. I pray that god will move the spirits of those people who can put a stop to this relatively "easily" (i.e. without leading to a full-on bloody civil war). We need any people of honor in the FBI, local law enforcement, the security state, and similar positions to have the courage and inspiration to arrest the guilty and put them on trial. And of course we will really need the new White House administration to act morally on this issue. If they do not, what else is left but revolution?

Yes, I feel sick...it's all I've been doing outside of my normal workday -- reading and researching this evil. I pray constantly. Everything "normal" feels like a facade. And I can't talk to my family about it. The either don't believe or don't care enough to let the reality disrupt their tidy lives.

It's Christmas in about 2 weeks & I don't even want to participate. Even that is a lie after all the reading I've done to learn about paganism/satanism. All this evil going on and people around me are oblivious. I feel alone, but then feel ashamed that I feel that way when I think of those children & what they're going through.

Thanks for posting this, it helps me feel less alone.

You're informed enough. Stop reading up on it every day and just wait, this is only the beginning and its off to a good start. Come back after new years unless you have something to contribute.

Honestly this topic has been fucking with my head aswell. Too real and too depressing. But really as far as investigating there isn't anything most of us can do. So it's best for us to just lay off and focus on something else.

Why are you sad about this info!? The podesta emails are the smoking gun the truther community has needed for so long to even have a shot to bring these sick people to justice. We all knew this shit was going on for awhile with the elites, now we have proof. Justice can be served and you should be happy that with our hard work as well as others and maybe the FBI doing their jobs we will see retribution.

Thanks for your post. Yeah bit all over the place I'm pretty distant with people have tried explaining this stuff to those in my life but they don't get it or I have lost more of my sense of reality that I care to admit.

This has been a journey over the past few months and I shared it with many people none of whom I know.

I cannot stress enough how much this video helped me to understand what I was going through: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3CjF-fwz4w

I just want to thank you all for not dismissing this investigation as so many have done. The circumstantial evidence combined with the just outright strange amount of "shilling" trying to off course the investigation is what makes this so real. Why the hell are they trying so hard to censor everything? Even blatant stuff like the Norway ring disappearing from 3 news papers in one day.

This will change the world thank you for your post.

I shut down on Sept 11 2001. I was blocks away, lost people, lived in a mausoleum for a year. Then I recovered only to learn that it was an inside job. Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth . The one good thing that came out of that experience was that the experience mentally prepared me for subsequent black flags, the truth about global power, the election, MSM cartel and certainly PG. I have been looking into this for a very long time.

That said, I had a total breakdown 2 wks ago. I don't remember what the trigger was but it hit me and I crashed, hard. I walked away from my computer and let the grief wash over me. Recovered as best as I could and got back online. You HAVE to allow yourself to experience this and move through it however you need to. But this is not for everyone and it is very much life-altering. You will never be the same again. I, personally, am grateful yet I have not yet acclimated to how lonely it is. But I am committed. If you are not able to commit - you do not have to.

ETA: What also keeps me going is that the children we are fighting so hard for --- what they endure is far worse than ANYTHING we can even imagine. In many ways, it's unconscionable for us to avoid the truth if these children can't escape it.

If you're willing to live this alternate life, do whatever is necessary to keep fighting. And always remember that you are not alone.

I am reminded of being in mourning. I am somber, and respectful of the gravity of the situation. I am burdened with the magnitude of the very real possibility that our world is controlled by global luciferian pedofiles. Our government is instating a truth ministry and attempting to overthrow our election. The pope is talking about sex with excrement. The whole situation is surreal. I won't ignore the pain of these poor children. Life is not the same for me it carries more meaning now and every moment is precious. I am glad that more and more of us have the courage to face this ugly truth. these unknown children need to be acknowledged somehow, it is just and good that they are avenged.

Find your zen. Keep digging.

I find myself zeroing in on logos and "code" instead of more happy things too.

The other day I noticed that the Burlington coat factory logo was a heart inside a heart. Please tell me they are not involved too.

voated 30+ imaginary points, at once. relax and balance!

I am so glad to see there can be a light at the end of tunnel. Amazing what you have survived!

I'm not really the type to keep journals or anything, but whenever i feel conflicted or really need to do some soul-searching, I always have conversation with myself on page. I'll start with a broad topic but a specific question, like, "What do I expect to get out my current actions" or "What ideas constitute my identity?" Or obviously whatever else is on your mind. A plus to this is that you'll be able to keep track of changes in your thoughts over time.

Edit:

On a bit of a side note, an image I can't help but think pf recently is the 'monster-hunter' trope. There's probably a real name for this written somewhere, but you know what I mean: there's the outcast hunter who specializes in hunting demons or monster or whatever; he has taken on demonic appearance/ aspects himself because of his craft, and the villagers who don't know any better are scared of him and group him in with the demons.

Researching this stuff, you may have to become someone else, and if you don't think you can handle it I wouldn't recommend pursuing it. But if you can't help but think about, and there's something inside you that compels you to do it, then (fortunately or unfortunately) you might be cursed, and you'll have to follow the path in front of you.

Something to take with you: in my own identity crises, I've realized you change who you are with every passing moment. I'm not sure if there's some kernel which actually remains constant, but regardless, the question you have to ask is, "if something isn't unchanging, what's the value in holding on to it anyway?" And the cool things about things that change, is that they can always change back.

Looking back on this post, I feel sort of embarrassed writing it, but whatever, I'll hit save.

As an interfaith minister who has studied the occult for years, my heart goes out to you all. I hope you will consider these words:

Although there are truly dark forces on earth, from my research I've learned that above all, this universe was created by a loving, beneolvent force. Call it God, call it Life, call it whatever you want.

At this point, many would ask- why would a loving God allow this fucked up, horrific shit? The answer is Free Will. Why does your parent let you fall of the bike when learning to ride it? So you can learn.

Life is a school, the lesson is love.

These sad souls have strayed far from the path, and trust me, they will pay for what they've done.

I've noticed that if I spend too much time with this stuff my brain literally starts to hurt, and I feel like a rush of bad chemicals. That's when I know I have to stop. I'm not doing anyone any good by harming myself. Got to spend time in nature, meditate. Even looking at nature videos on youtube is great for a break.

I work in mental health and I am used to dealing with anxiety and depression, and even so this stuff does take a toll on me as well. I have to take breaks and clear my head. What makes this difficult is that no one around me wants to believe this stuff, my own family thinks I am crazy. So I mostly keep it to myself, which is a large burden to hold, but I am okay with it. I will snap back at anyone who calls me crazy, and I tell them they have no right to criticize me. I don't turn my back when I hear cries of help from suffering children. Ignorance may be bliss, but ignorance is selfish. We are not better than anyone else. It is a matter of chance what kind of life we are born into. Therefore it is our duty as humans to help each other out. The more flack I get for trying to do my part, the more I am motivated to keep going.

This has happened with me, too. I don't look at anything the same way. Not even my child. I feel crushed inside because of what has to be happening to these victims. And I've been afraid to be in public lately with my child. I know none of this is healthy, but I can't control it.

i have stopped having fun, as much. I feel conspicuous laughing, or being too happy, so longs as i know many children are suffering. This is not really a complaint. i am glad, that I am not easily placated any more. I was NEVER really having fun, or happy, while this sad situation continues. i will be happy again. relatively, when there has been breakthrough in this case...

Agreed....what I have been experiencing aside from all of the above, is that impending feeling that the other shoe is about to drop, but in a good/terrible way. The info is gonna leak....the desperate machinations of the Clinton camp confirm that. I'm just ready for the info dump and the subsequent swamp draining.

I have been watching comedies and my favorite Youtube sailing videos as a pick me-up. Here is one of my favorite Youtube vids...why Kendall is not in stand up, I have no idea. And the language is totally NSFW..... Racist Field Trip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PObvnI_U1qU

For those of us who were sexually abused as children ourselves, this scandal really hits home. Many of us survivors never saw justice for ourselves. Reaching for a conclusion in pizzagate is kind of a form of closure.

100% agree with you on everything...especially the part about social media being the wild card this time around. Because this ain't the first Pizzagate. I think this has hit critical mass and is not going away. The gorgeous shit storm that occurred right after Molesta's tweet today only enforces this belief.

I haven't been contributing with research, I'm not really smart enough for it, I don't think, but am supportive of civilians digging into things for a good cause (and there is no more justified cause than trying to protect children IMO). But that said, I have lived with this feeling my entire life, as I grew up in a town where covert and organized child abuse was happening, centered around a church. So even my developing childhood perceptions included watching many people turn a blind eye to things or shame victims into silence, in order to cover their own butts or in some cases to just not have to "deal with" the situation. They viewed their own anxiety having to "deal with" a reality of child abuse to be more significant than the suffering of the child victims. There hasn't been a day in my remembered, waking life when I wasn't aware of how such things tend to work and unfold.

Best I can offer is to remember that if you are a mess psychologically and physiologically, then you won't be able to help much, even if you really want to. Make sure to get proper sleep and don't spend too many night too often awake until dawn, obsessing and losing sleep. Take an occasional day off and connect with someone in person whom you at least mostly trust, do something together you would normally enjoy, recuperate, basically. Those of us who have been victims and have been waiting for age of awareness and people giving shit, we have been waiting for a long time, many of us now grown old or passed away. If you need a couple days off to recuperate and be at the top of your game, then by all means, take the time to do so.

Thank you very much, playitagainsam, i would recommend this one too. "Wherever you go..." contains lots of "soft" instructions (would rather say suggestions) on how to practice. But there a lots more of offers to get informed, ones for the more nitty-gritties, others for the theoretists, so everyone might find his own approach.

I have a feeling we won't let it get swept under the carpet. I know I won't.

Thank you, I'm glad. I'm terribly sorry you had to live through that, you're very strong. I agree, I thought the same and it's really... nice to see we aren't desensitized to this.

After what I just read...if it was possible to blue pill and forget all of this I would. This is deeply disturbing and takes a toll.

I am just really fucking mad and sad about all of this.
As a child my grandfather tried to molest me. I would spend the night with my grandma and he would insist I sit on his lap while we watched Disney and fondle my crotch. I refused to let him do it after the second attempt....but my grandma would tell me to sit on his lap. I know he really had his way with my younger sister. My mom would hear no part of it..as she always borrowed money from them. He had bondage porn pictures hung all over in backyard shed and magazines in the bathroom. I was older than my sister and stopped going over there....but my youngest sister experienced shit...she started acting out from it....got kicked out of school. She then got into drugs, was homeless, tattooed herself all over, even her face...was involved in Hell's Angels porn....lost her children, She tried though the years to deal with the pain, therapy, medication etc...but to no use. She killed herself at 44 yrs old.. What these FUCKERS do is steal innocence and ruin lives. I would love to chop their dicks off to be honest. I am astounded how society has tolerated this crap.
All I can do is pray...pray people wake up to the damage that is done by these DEVILS!!! G

Thanks for your post and honesty. It started for me as an investigation out of disbelief. After a couple hours it became an obsession which quickly led to panic. The main reason is because my wife is from Europe and goes back to visit her family once a year for a couple months with my two young daughters. I tried to rationalize it by remembering that they have been making this trip for years and nothing has really changed. That ultimately didn't help but I have found some peace in forcing myself to take regular breaks and meditating (which is something I never did routinely until now). I also have one friend I can talk to about this and my wife as long as I spare her the more graphic details. I think breaks are the most important but far be it for me to tell someone else what they should do. I wish you all the best.

I try to focus on the now...for that is all we can do. And the now is just SO fucked up. It's nice to have this thread to vent.

I've always used my studying of the occult as a way to center myself. To pen spells and incantations, to place items upon my altar and focus on fixing my inner self. Never did I study about the dark side of Magick, of ritual abuse and Satanism. I was living in my own preconceived ideologies, my rose colored lenses so to speak.

I haven't even been able to pick up an occult book for almost 4 months. What I used to dive into before now turns my stomach. EVERYTHING I held as faith or solidity has turned to sand between my fingers. I just don't know what to believe anymore.

I do know one thing though...that Magick IS real. I've witnessed it through the power of memes and the collective consciousness. If there has been one continuing theme I have studied throughout the years, it's been the battle of Good vs. Evil, Light vs. Dark. It seems we are on that precipice now.

The path may be hard to follow, and we may lose some of our brothers and sisters along the way...but I do know that if we keep pushing forward, the momentum will hopefully expose these sick fucks and every disgusting fiber of their being for all to see.

I think the Bible had it right all along (as well as the Nag Hammadi Indexes)...that Hell is right here, on Earth, and we are living in it. The Demiurge is alive and well, and we are seeing it all unfold before us.

I understand where you're coming from. Some of us have been researching since 9-11, some of us have been researching since the JFK and subsequent assassinations of the 60s.

Before those signs and symbols were going into your subconscious without conscious filtering. Which is the literal definition of hypnotism.

What you are experiencing is a shift in your latent inhibition. http://highlysensitive.org/64/highly-sensitive-people-latent-inhibition-and-creativity/

I think many of us will have experienced PTSD, just learning about the trauma so many have suffered in such a cold blooded and systematic way, is extremely traumatic to a healthy psyche.

Being mobilised to action, naturally will shift our daily patterns. It is imperative we remember to take care of ourselves and do not feel guilty about taking breaks where required. Everyone needs to be on their mental and physical A game and that requires self-nourishment both physical and spiritual. Remember all of the beauty which exists in this world still. Wont it be sweet to hand over an even more beautiful world to the future.

I feel so much better hearing all your responses. We have faith!

Shit! no more upvoats I want upvoat power!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's the the burden of wisdom. This pizzagate hellhole really puts the mundane into perspective. I am glad that more people are waking up, are righteously angry, and digging.

I remember this article gave me a sense of perspective, hope it's of some use

http://psychohistory.com/articles/the-history-of-child-abuse/

A german here, so bare with me and my language. I've always been a guy overthinking everything I see or experience. I'm highly sensitive to every feeling that's being spread around me. If that makes sense at all. I've always been into conspiracies. But not those BS ones like flat earth or lizard people. But everything with enough evidence behind it to alteast not put at immediatly aside. And this topic is nothing new, but there has never been this kind of waking up and realizing. So even though I knew this shit could have existed I always have been doubting it slightly or in other words I haven't been fully convinced because I wanted to protect myself from knowing how fucked up this world is. But now that every day more and more undeniably evidence is brought to light my mind is giving up it's fight to push this shit away. The sad thing is, back in september I've been diagnosed with a heavy depression co-existing with a social anxiety disorder. But I can't just stop and ignore this. I'm not that kind of person. So the only thing I can do besides spreading the word here in Germany, which most of the time doesn't work because no one seems to care enough, is, watch how all of this goes. And I'm scared this goes the wrong way. 90% of the people I'm trying to tell about this just completely block everything because it's just to much. to heavy. WAY to evil. People can't live with this in their mind.

I love all of you fighting for justice, for love and unity. This world has been fucked up for waaaay to long. It's enough. It's overdue.

I feel a sense of impending doom.

Keep calm and prepare the rope.

I feel a little mixed up myself, on the one hand it feels rewarding to have a noble cause, on the other I can't shake the cognitive dissonance and if I do, I feel incredibly frightened by the people that rule us. We live under the assumption that they work for our common good for the most part, that their self interests at their worst are nothing of this magnitude. This reality is far more sinister and soul crushing, how do I go on living my normal life?...

Congrats. You are not complacent with being another dumb sheep in the flock, being shepherded by the MSM.

You are becoming focused. It is natural the a solemn demeanor comes over you where you are a male protector of the weak. It is your very nature to become tuned and focused on this. You are connecting with the world around you and becoming more aware.

You should be thankful at this point that you have not yet seen what I have seen, I hope you never have to.

We are at war and we can not quit, we can not slow down, we can be afraid of what must be done! The consequences of quiting are so grave, humanity has never seen the likes of it ever before. Now can they imagine the horror that will be if we quit!

The reality is far worse than conspiracy theories.

With this whole ongoing investigation, it has brought a feeling of immanence, like the momentum is becoming even heavier, and this information is seeping to the masses.

I myself, personally, have always had a strong skepticism to everything that this society puts upon us. I question everything, and I live by that.

I am anarchist, I want everything to change, for the better. With Pizzagate in full swing, it is apparent that we are on the way to making some great changes, I hope.

With all that being said, and the way you are feeing, continue your open mindedness, and give this a scroll through.

To Change Everything

I think despite all of the evil in the world, there is good. Look at what we're doing, this is good. We have to remember and think about the good in the world or the darkness could drag us down, which is dangerous. I'm really proud of everyone here doing this research. When united we are very strong, that's why they keep on race baiting. United we stand, divided we fall. And strength in numbers.

I try to keep my mind from running too far ahead. I really do believe this is an international conspiracy. My biggest fear is that this fake news crap, the bullshit claims about voter fraud and now this Russian interference nonsense is laying the groundwork for the Electoral College to give the election to Hillary. I really am starting to worry about civil war in America. Am I crazy?

Meditate. Practice Mindfulness. It helps you winning back yourself, finding the richness of life again and get to the bottom of your values and what is relevant in life. Also want to add, that practicing mindfulness does not sedate you. You will see what you have to see.

Yeah, I'm kinda at the same point. I listen to my spouse go on about social things and think "why does this matter?" Not in a "I've given up way", but in a "there are a lot more serious topics to discuss than this."

I've had to curtail about 90% of my discussions about this topic, lest I am accused of "obsessing" about it. Which I'm not. It's a real-life Criminal Minds episode. No series. No...entire run of show.

And I personally will unload both barrels on any fucking shills who try to hijack this thread.

The shills are proof that this is real and that you are making a difference. Would you rather be ignored? The more shills the better. As for your emotional state, finding out that you have been betrayed and that the world is not as it should is really shitty thing to have to experience. you would be a sociopath to not be upset. The truth is shining brighter everyday.

I can't say I'm in shock about 'pizzagate'. I am never 100 percent happy for forever cause I feel this hideousness is out there. I am, however, really relieved that people are talking about this and it's coming out. I sense it has been stuck down hard in our psyches for a long time.

Don't let this get you paranoid, if this is happening - it's been happening for years and years (fuck, could be centuries).

At the end of the day, as selfish as it sounds - your own sanity is more important than this. Contribute and stay curious but I wouldn't put your wellbeing at risk.