Counselor here. Good post but you missed one important fact. You state the victim has two options. Either accept that it is rape and they are not loved by the father or accept that it is not rape.

The third option is to accept that the rape is not rape but is how they show their love for the victim. If the abuse starts at a young enough age, it is normalized and not seen as rape until they are much older.

I have had people tell me they didn't realize fathers are not supposed to have sex with their children in until they were in their 20s and out of the abusive situation which they could not even tell was abusive.

We are biologically wired to live and care for those that care for us as children. The ones who feed us, make us feel better when we are sick and put bandaids on boo boos. If they is not any physical abuse like hitting or beating, the child only sees the rape as love because the other needs are being met.

Sexual abuse and the way it is viewed by the victim varies widely as the view is dictated by multiple factors. A child who is not conditioned from a young age has such better chance of over coming the abuse and moving forward with their lives. A child conditioned from the time they were a toddler, will almost always see sex, abusive or living from a partner of their own age and chosing, as the way love is shown. Someone who has not been abused, for example, will see love as someone caring for them, supporting them and nurturing them with sex being only a small portion of how someone shows love.

Good post and it is one I have been wanting to make for a long time. You stated your classmate was also an abuse survivor. I take that to.mean you yourself are a victim of abuse. I am sorry you had to deal with that and i wish you nothing but happiness.

Really appreciate this and it does in fact clear up a lot when dealing with looking into the mind of a pedophile and why or how someone could justify it as 'okay'. My ex was abused and I believe she was part of a network. She was, behind my back, working as a prostitute. I never knew any of this.My children were put at risk and my 4 year (at the time) was threatened to be hurt if he talked to me. My children were then taken to Europe and I became targeted. Many people at that time, around me, would constantly tell me to forget about my children. I was in the entertainment business and what is amazing, is that I ended up blacklisted for simply not giving up on my children. Makes one wonder how many in Hollywood are abused and how many rationalize abusing others as you pointed out. Hollywood attracts people that are desperate for 'love', for that attention so the shoe fits doesn't it. I won't bore you with anymore of this story of mine but for 21 years I am the outcast for looking for the truth. What also is amazing, as we are seeing with pizzagate, is that many in media and politics are damaged people as well, that will do anything to protect their fragile reputations. Thanks again for your insightful post.