"If Chuck E. Cheese were a hipster who smoked Crystal Meth, this would be the dining concept he would come up with". Great review of Comet Pizza (Yelp) ( pizzagate )

submitted by icuntstopswearing

If Chuck E. Cheese were a hipster who smoked Crystal Meth, this would be the dining concept he would come up with. With an art deco style that can only be described as "phony dilapidated", this place bore a strong resemblance to Freddy Krueger's boiler room, except with much more metal structures that served no purpose. To put a fine point on the ambiance, there was a projector in the room playing extended video footage of a car tire on fire while spinning on a rope--so as to give that "family Italian" feel so commonly found in Pizza places. I waited to be seated at around dinner time and the place was packed. It had more crying kids than a hospital maternity ward. Apparently they must have been saddened by the motif of this place as well. When our server arrived, he appeared a bit nervous. An early twenties male wearing blue nail polish decided to take our order. Confronted with a list of microbrews that I had never heard of, I opted for a 16 oz can of pale ale that cost 6 dollars. I ordered the meatball Pizza and it was decent. People raved about the food here, but it was brick oven pizza. It was ok. One should not have to sacrifice an assault on all of the other senses in order to get a decent slice of pizza in this town. Also, If you go into a place to have Pizza, they should serve a beer that you have heard of other than Bud Light. If you are into "Epic Hipster Fail" as a lifestyle, this is your place. If not, I would recommend a pass.

https://www.yelp.com/biz/comet-ping-pong-washington?start=360

TrafficStats

Typical incompetent hipster-jew fuck hole. I would never eat in any place that had overtones of hipster jew faggot pedos, e.g., Roberta's.

star_boi

Yup~ these reviews are right on! I visited the infamous CPP just a couple weeks ago! Service was terrible, quite expensive for the size of the pizza, and no refills- so, 2 glasses of tea with one refill each = $12... a kids place??! hmmmm. and as for hipster, i don't know about that... for one, the roasted beets appetizer was literally just thrown in a bowl with no garnish or anything, when i asked for goat cheese the guy looked at me like i was speaking in tongues! the decor was industrial ping pong with mostly bare walls and very little atmosphere at all actually. the LACK of art or decor seemed very conspicuous actually- after having seen the old floor to ceiling pieces previously imaged. luckily there were only a couple kids running around the day we were there, but if there were a ton of them... it would be hard to supervise them- the now famous hidden bathroom is just before you get to the ping pong room... and there is another section behind the ping pong room that is actually just the back of the building curtained off into another 'room' space- there is a back door to the alley behind off this room... easy to have strangers come in the back, kids could easily be pulled or coaxed behind the curtains... biggest takeaway: where is all this freaking $$$ going?? one or two employees the day i was there, cost of ping pong balls suspected to be negligible- pizza is wood fired- that must save a bit on electricity... (and makes for a convenient disposal system), furnishings? art? paint? nah- that mortgage must be a mutha.

DeathTooMasons

And how about this review, the second oldest one from Joel S, San Diego, CA , from 2/5/2007

We heard about ping pong tables and just had to check it out. Front of the restaurant is full of booth style tables with "ping pong" Type tables, pretty cool keeping with the theme. In the rear there are three ping pong tables with ample space for playing, and a "gum ball" machine with balls for .50 cent. The paddles lying around are below average so bring your own.

At first the place was great, ping pong in the rear, good beer on tap, and food in the front. ***Then the rear started to turn into a playground. at one point I counted in excess of 15 kids under 10 wanting to "play. * Parents who couldn't understand why they couldn't "play". No wonder the paddles are all ruined. ** Seemed parents enjoyed hanging out the bar to drink while they sent their kids to the rear for unsupervised playtime.

The menu is simple, pizza, salad, beer wine, but not being able to think with the melodious sound of a dozen little ones running around, we opted to eat elsewhere.

Think Chuck E Cheese with a ping pong theme.

Gothamgirl

I definitely suspected drugs, when that employee came out of Comet during the pizzagate protest.

millennial_vulcan

Even BETTER THAN THAT are the 191 reviews that they paid yelp to REMOVE!

ENJOY!!

https://www.yelp.com/not_recommended_reviews/comet-ping-pong-washington

kazza64

i read these and the impression i got was bad management left comet with poor service and sub standard food on occasion. the children were out of control and the ping pong wasnt available to diners because the children were running amok on the tables that were there. all of the bad reviews said it was so bad they wouldnt be going back. a lot of people recommended 2amys as an alternative. combine this with weird art on the walls and weird bands playing there and it would be a big no for me and my family. the food is also considered over priced. and comet add hidden taxes to their bills without the diners being informed. also diners speak of being shuttled from table to table and pretty much out the door at the whim of the staff.

icuntstopswearing

Many thanks for the link. That would bring their average score down to about 2/5. Why do they close so early during the week? Is the real money made after hours?

millennial_vulcan

Sometimes I wonder if PizzaGate was simply some sick publicity stunt to drum up business for the stupid fucking place. Remember how it was said several months back on here that their takings had shot up exponentially by 1000% ?

UGH.

Are_we_sure

Confronted with a list of microbrews that I had never heard of

LOL. Wonder what brought this guy here. Guy doesn't know Microbrews, doesn't know what Art Deco means.....I don't think I would trust him about Chuck E. Cheese or Crystal Meth.

icuntstopswearing

Because he obviously isn't a cool sophisticated fellow like you? Why would anyone eat there?

Are_we__sure

Why wouldn't they eat there? It's been a well reviewed restaurant for about a decade. It was opened by a highly regarded chef. It's a fairly popular place as the reviewer points out

I waited to be seated at around dinner time and the place was packed.

It obviously has a customer base. Why do you think that is? Perhaps the caricature of the place was never true.

If you want to cherry pick yelp reviews, here's the first review on the page you link to

Five Stars

I can't say enough good things about Comet Ping Pong. Super kid-friendly/family-friendly. Pizza is amazing. Best crust! Beer is cheap. Ping-Pong is fun. Wings are INCREDIBLE.

Must try:

Greek salad- so good Wings- a MUST when you come here. Braised not fried. Not buffalo flavored. Really stellar The Hottie- My fave The Stanley- also great The Yaley- YUM

you must request their' wing sauce for your pizza crust. It's a white horseradishy-ranch dressing and it's incredible.

VieBleu

still toiling in the cotton fields I see. Don't you get vacation pay?

madhatter67

Yeh...whoever wrote that one clearly loves their pizza....

Sorry....when I look at online restaurant reviews and see one like that I tend to think they are a bit too enthusiastic to be genuine....

And I thought you were the one who was a proud sceptic?

Are_we__sure

Sorry....when I look at online restaurant reviews and see one like that I tend to think they are a bit too enthusiastic to be genuine....

That's neither here nor there. My point it's quite easy to find people who rave about this place. Proper skepticism means not cherrypicking your evidence.

Piscina

No, a real review combines both and bad comments. That's how you can tell it's genuine. Even if it's 90 per cent good, there'll be a realistic feel to a review. Reviews that are over-the-top in their compliments and fawning I always consider fake.

dickface888

Fuck off Are_we_sure, you stink ad everyone hates you.

whatonearth

Haha oh lord just look at the list of "obscure" beers. Heineken?! https://www.beermenus.com/places/17507-comet-ping-pong

PrideOfOshtekk

Hahahaha

Are_we_sure

This is a good ale.

Oskar Blues Dale's Pale Ale American Pale Ale · 6.5% · Longmont, CO

icuntstopswearing

"Epic Hipster Fail". Child friendly restaurants with demonic art on the walls. Bleeding heart liberals who are baby obsessed fascists. Inversion is soon to be so last year.

jstrotha0975

Satan's kitchen.

ProudTruther

Haha I read this yelp review back in November but it is a good one. A lot of those reviews are sketch AF

Piscina

The kind of place adults who don't give a shit about their children's needs while prioritising their own pathetic desperation to be part of the hip crowd.

icuntstopswearing

Another review. "Well if it's good enough for Chris Matthews..."

BerksResident

The old reviews are enlightening with a lot of mentions of out of control children